THERE’S a rare beauty in watching something you loathe disintegrate before your eyes.
A beauty that shone this week as the parliamentary Tory party ate what was left of its twitching, mutilated corpse.
We had that narcissistic bleat from the direst of dog-whistlers, Suella Braverman, miffed at not being allowed to carry on her Enoch Powell tribute act as Home Secretary.
That cheesy-grinned zombie, Liz Truss, emerged from her tomb to unveil a rival budget to the Chancellor’s (as if her last one wasn’t disastrous enough) which advocated tearing up workers’ rights, cutting the minimum wage and ending paid holidays.
We were treated to the banality of the deputy chair of the self-styled Party of Law and Order, 30p Lee, wanting to ignore the courts over the Rwanda farce and “put the planes in the air” ’cos that’s what his pals down the local want. And an illiterate letter from former Education Secretary Andrea Jenkyns, demanding a vote of no confidence in the PM which a nine-year-old Iraqi refugee would have made a better fist of after a week on an introductory English course.
There was that bank manager in Norman Wisdom’s clothes, Risible Sunak, grabbing a falling inflation number (which is still twice as high as the Bank of England’s target) like a drowning man grabs driftwood.
Even more pitiful was him trying to spin as successful his doomed Rwanda plan, which has wasted £140million and 18 months’ work just to keep the bigots happy. Then trying to placate the same bigots by creating a Minister for GB News out of the lamentable Esther McVile.
But from a pile of steaming Tory dung there will always be a certain type of man who rises without a skidmark: Eton Man. If it wasn’t galling enough watching disgraced Boris Johnson fail upwards into multi-million pound media deals, as he waits in the wings to be recalled to the centre of power, we now witness the rebirth of his fellow Bullingdon Boy, David Cameron.
A rebirth that sees the disgraced ex-PM made a Lord and Foreign Secretary which has no logic or merit, tells hundreds of sitting Tory MPs they are too inadequate to hold high office, and insults every British voter by assuming they have the memory of a comatose goldfish. Goldfish who have forgotten the costly errors of this smarmy, self-serving PR guru, to whom being Prime Minister was simply the crowning glory in a game he felt he was programmed to win since his silver-spooned birth.
The architect of an austerity that led to an explosion in foodbanks, brought the NHS and state education to its knees, and saw the gap between rich and poor become a chasm.
The slippery reptile Miriam Margolyes famously said should be “boiled in oil” whose cack-handed attempt to stop Tory infighting dragged us out of the EU, before he scarpered to “put his trotters up” as Danny Dyer put it, fomenting civil war in a country left culturally and economically poorer.
But Eton Dave got richer, exploiting his City connections and ex-PM status to trouser £7million from a dodgy finance firm that went bust costing taxpayers £320million.
You can’t help but admire the unflinching arrogance of these entitled leeches who so easily shed their shamed skin and emerge fresh-faced to reclaim their birthright.
Thankfully though, there are times when the common people are left nauseous by that arrogant entitlement. Times like now. Come the election the goldfish won’t forget.